Saturday, March 29, 2008

You put your left foot in....

I'm not an easy person to know. I tend to freak out if I'm noticed, then run away and hide. Not very good for someone who sells her own art etc. But hey, I do try. It's not helped by extreme natural shyness, I've taught myself to *switch on* when I have to although I tend to babble from nerves. I became that way because I spent many years hiding from one person. Look me up in the electoral roll, phone book etc and I'm not there. I'm a footnote in a court case. I'm not even really here. I'm hiding behind a business name. It's the reason I haven't put any more work up. It opens me up to being noticed and I don't do criticism or admiration well at all. Or anything really. I have been taking baby steps for the last few years and trying not to flinch but lately I have lost my nerve again and run away and hid. Having this blog is supposed to be my therapy and learning to have strangers wander through and feel comfortable. But then, some of you guys are family and some are RL friends and I find myself uncomfortable writing about some stuff or putting me out here. Then... Tonight I outed myself in a group to defend someone who I honestly admire. Some people tend to get being a fan mixed up with being a friend and are offended if they're not treated like a friend. I never make that mistake as I hate when people who like my work are all over me like a rash BUT have no idea who I am as a person. Anyway, I went in and said my piece. And now, I am totally freaked out all over again. But, I guess it's one foot in front of the other and I may as well keep going now. so! expect to see some stuff happening around here.

3 Even Wiser people reply:

BwcaBrownie said...

re "I tend to freak out if I'm noticed, then run away and hide" ...
welcome to Bwca-dom !

antikva said...

:-) Thank You

I had to follow the breadcrumb trail you left to work out where I had lost you LOL

Found you again though.

Ann ODyne said...

Well it's "Without WAX" of course, certainly not 'Without Brain'

Bwca is hiding out at CopperWitch's place for another week ( it is more of a fairy-glade than a witch's cave though. We are very cosy and went to the St.Trinian's movie for a big laugh)
so dysthymiac bwcas are not blogging much cos we don't like to hog our host's airtime.

One of my links is Beaumaris girl Bliss Hill and she sells her art from
Worth the effort of following the link to see her paintings of old red rattler trains.
peace and love from Cheltenham